Tales of the Assassin Bride

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy...

Sorry...yeah...I haven't posted in forever. Don't hate me. Let's just move on it'll be healthier for both of us.

Lessons in Aussie Lingo

• If someone says "you're a gun" or refers to someone as a gun it means that guy is hot stuff in some capacity (usually sporting). I think it's a really cool thing, and I'm definitely going to bring it back to the States. 
• People say "heaps" a lot here. Heaps of people say heaps. People heaping say heaps too heaping much. 
• One of the funniest things that guys say here when they're busting each other's nuts is they call each other "dickhead." The first few times I heard it, I didn't really use my sensory imagination. When I finally got around to it, I couldn't stop laughing.
• If you ask someone a question and he doesn't quite hear you he'll respond with a "hey?" 
• If you ask someone a question about the status of something or how something went you'll probably get an answer that starts with "yeah." Example: "How's your firstborn son?" "Yeah, good."  
• After a big night of partying or an intense sports practice or something in which your physical faculties had been pushed to the brink, the morning after people might ask you, "How'd you pull up today?" I think that's what they're saying at least. It was confusing to me at first. Now I'll say, "Yeah, not too bad."
• To "shout" someone is to pay for their ______. Dream come true conversation: Hero: "Cornell is so expensive. Here, Geoff, lemme shout your college tuition." Me: "I love you."

I might be this kind of gun...

Lots of things have occurred since I last shared with you guys, so I'll do what I did last time and just do some spotty retelling. 

Soiree

A few Mondays ago, Queens had a little talent show that was called Soiree, and Queeners came out in droves to show other Queeners how much talent Queens has amongst its Queeners. Every act was heaps of good (that's not a correct usage of "heaps"), but my favorites were a twelve string guitar medley, a parody of George Michael's "Faith" by two senior girls who rewrote the words to be about them creepily stalking good looking fresher boys and going into their rooms while they're out and smelling their dirty laundry, a crazy rhythmic gymnastics performance, and a jazz improv trio of bass, piano and drums. Yeah it was intense. The gymnastics girl did this thing where she threw her ribbon thing up in the air, did some spinny move thing and then caught the handle on her ribbon right as it was coming down. Yeah it was intense. 

Assassins

Last week a Queen's-wide game of Assassins commenced. Basically, every Queener got assigned someone to assassinate, and we were given two days to complete our assignments which we did by pouring water on our targets. The only rules were that no one could see you make your kill, your kill couldn't see you coming, no killing people in anyone's rooms, and no killing in the dining hall. It was a great way to meet new people, as we were usually assigned Queeners outside of our corridors. After each kill you emailed the folks in charge and they gave you new targets. It was really fun and on the first night screams could be heard echoing all around the college as people waiting in dark places struck unsuspecting victims. The only reason I made any kills at all was that once you found out where people lived, everyone around them helped conspire with you. 

Geoff's Assassins Kill Count

1. The first guy I got, the girl across the hall from him shouted for him to come look at something out the window so I could throw water at him from behind an outcropping as he exited his room. 
2. For the second kill, my friend knocked on this girl's door (I'd followed her in from lunch and knew she was in there) and told her that someone upstairs was asking for her. I just waited on the floor above the staircase and got her as she was coming up. 
3. The third kill happened because everyone in the guy's hallway saw him go to take a shower, and I just waited around the corner for him to come out. 
4. I lucked out on the fourth kill. I'd looked up what the girl looked like, so I knew her face pretty well, but she lived on a really busy corridor, and I hadn't had a chance to properly scheme with anyone yet. One lazy afternoon, I was walking through the quad, and she seemed to be headed right toward me! As inconspicuously as I could, I ran back into the building I just exited and filled up a cup of water in the kitchenette. Luck would have it that she was headed to the same place to check her mail. Lucky for me. UNLUCKY FOR HER. 
5. Kill number five wasn't really a successful kill. The target was a fellow exchange student from the United States. I made the unsmooth move of texting him to come over because "I wanted to talk to him about something," and he sent me the awkward reply "Cool, you better not assassinate me! HaHa!" HaHa indeed. I waited for him to enter our building, and I tried to dump my entire water bottle on him from the third floor. My aim was not true, however, and he survived the onslaught. In hindsight, I should have taken a surface area approach rather than the bunker-busting path. His disinterest in killing his assignment led to him conceding defeat though. 

Overall, I was attacked twice by the same girl, but she did it in plain sight of 5 or 6 witnesses so neither attempt counted for much. In the end, I was eliminated because I needed to leave town for a bit and couldn't really kill or be killed...Fun stuff though! 

This would be against the rules

Skool

My new policy class has been alright. The first lecture that I went to we spent a looot of time watching clips and videos. We actually watched a full length show called "Hollowmen" which is a hilarious parody of people working in public policy. I enjoyed the show, but in a two hour lecture is it really ideal to spend a quarter to half the time watching semi-relevant news clippings and a tv show? The show was pure gold though. Really illustrated (exaggerated?) the struggles that governments go through to appear as if they are doing effective policy making: i.e. pushing out of context soundbites and misleading statistics, the conflict of the public's desire for decisive and swift action with the time needed to actually gather data that would allow one to make an informed decision, the airheaded bosses that twist and manipulate whatever thoughts and words you have to justify doing what they were already going to do...it's all there! One guy got me every time because he would go everywhere without a pen and then suddenly want to write down what people were saying. Man you have to watch it. 

Anyone have a pen?

Corridor Chapel

The chaplain of Queen's College is a very learned man. He's got quite a colorful personal history (raise your hand if you've ever drag raced an undercover cop?) and his knowledge of Scripture and his ability to discern it's meaning is probably unparalleled amongst all the people I've ever met. Anyway, every Sunday Queen's puts on a chapel service and he preaches. It is a tradition at Queens for every corridor to go to chapel as a group at least once. Last week was our turn. The message was something that I think is very true and very under-understood if I may abuse the English language so perfidiously. Basically, the chaplain spoke about love and what it means to love others. What he said was that to love is to give something up--to make sacrifices. Many people think about love as a solution to everything and as the source of overwhelming peace and happiness. His message was that love comes with a cost. Tying it back to the message of Jesus, he pointed out that "God gave up his Son. Jesus Christ gave up his life." Real love involves a lot of sacrifice; there is absolutely no way to deny it. He also pointed out that in 1 Corinthians 13, the chapter that gets a ton of play at weddings, the word that Paul uses for patient in the opening verse "Love is patient" means "long suffering." Love is able to suffer at length! This probably wouldn't be so cheery to mention at the next wedding you're at though. In the end, while I think his message was right on the money, I do feel that you come out with more than you started with when you establish loving relationships. Anyway it was deep.

Base Camp

Last weekend, I went on a retreat type thing with Christian Union, an Intervarsity affiliate here in Melbourne. It was good stuff. The talks that were given were basically an extrapolation of Kevin DeYoung's Just Do Something, which made its way around Cornell Cru last year pretty well I think. It's definitely a very practical concept in terms of decision-making and the will of God, which can get very confusing. I also got to meet a bunch of Australian believers and spend time at the beach which is never a bad thing! A few of the girls there are also at colleges and they told me about a college specific Bible study and also invited me to their church, which I went to yesterday and met oodles of cool people. This also happened:

 Me in a toilet paper wedding dress and my lovely team of designers

My Quick Trip to Taiwan!

Finally, I just want to mention that I was able to see Amy this past week because she and her mom were in Taiwan for her Spring Break! I missed three and a half days of uni, but it was well worth it booking a trip out there to see her! Taiwan is an awesome place to eat and shop as everything is amazingly cheap and pretty decent quality wise! We ate lots of food, and I'm incredibly grateful toward Amy, her parents and her family for being such great hosts to me during my time there and for lining up a lot of the logistical things that I was so helpless in trying to figure out! Any time spent with my girl--no matter how short!--is time well spent!

One of the funniest things about Taiwan is that there are apparently a bunch of clothing companies that produce cheap graphic Ts that they sell on the street. Lots of these shirts have random gibberish English phrases and cities and sometimes just strings of letters. It's funny. I have a shirt now that says "New York Vihtagf Hockoky Man Acemf Dfvilslakfh Dakotastateonawrs rhysical fdncatiohctatfwisscupi." Good stufffffff. Just don't look too closely and you can't tell it makes no sense. 

Night markets are much fun

On the plane ride I watched "The Artist," "Pulp Fiction," "Puss N Boots" (which I think might've been targeted toward a younger audience) and a bunch of episodes of "Modern Family." I also had the most frustrating dream ever. In Australia the 2 dollar coin is tiny, the one dollar coin is slightly larger, and then the 20 cent and 50 cent coins are behemoths. I had a dream where I was sitting in the sand somewhere trying to pick up a bunch of coins that I'd dropped, but I just couldn't quite get them in order because sand kept shifting and covering them up or something. Suddenly the coins started getting smaller and more valuable every time I failed to pick them up. Before I knew it, I was looking at a pile of miniscule $9 coins that were quickly sifting through my fingers. I woke up and my leg and arm were asleep. Maybe my subconscious's way of waking me up before I lost both my left limbs? Who knows.

Soooo...that's all I can think of for now. I hope you all are doing excellently! Be good friends and tell me what's up with you, you jerks.

Thanks and hope to hear from you soon! I'll try and post moreeeee.